Putting yourself out there…

There’s nothing quite as nerve wracking as putting yourself out there for the first time, you know, going to a party where you only know the host and she is happily flitting from one guest to the next while you stand in one corner looking for a group of less than three people to go and introduce yourself to. I hate it! My friends would call me an outgoing and confident person, but I am far from it. When I am in unfamiliar circumstances, I am as chicken as the next chook. It’s why I am always the person helping in the kitchen at big parties. I have a unique gift for putting my size 11’s in my mouth (an uncomfortable sensation) and the thought of committing the unpardonable faux pas in front of strangers is enough to get my palms sweating and my voice quavering. I’d rather get up in front of a thousand people to talk about sexually transmitted diseases, than meet a circle of five strangers.

The secret to my survival thus far is this, I convince myself of the following:

  • everyone else in the room probably feels the same way I do
  • they will probably be forgiving if not grateful that I make a fool of myself because it saves them from having to be the first
  • that my name is so hard to remember that I can probably introduce myself to the rest of the guests by some other name if I completely blow it
  • I’m bigger than most of the guests so they will think twice about ignoring me for fear of my sitting on them or pointing out the horrendous state of their hair roots to the other guests (there’s no hiding a colour-job from a six footer, no hiding a skew hair part or dandruff either)
  • that I’m worth getting to know and it would be a cruel deprivation to remain in the quiet corner and keep to myself…unless there are dishes to do…really, I don’t mind washing dishes…
Okay, so I’m still a work in progress.
I sent off a piece of my writing today to a group of people I barely know to have them critique it. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sweating bullets as I await their responses, but I am excited too. It’s thrilling to step outside of my comfort zone and do something new. You only live once and all that…
Come over and meet a few of your friends? Sure, I’d love to, after I do these dishes…there really are quite a few of them!
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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Phil
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 21:24:38

    Can’t agree more with point 5. And, yeah, we all feel like that at times. Don’t we? Or are those super confident beautiful people REALLY that full of themselves?

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  2. Cindy Lee
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 21:54:32

    Oh Ari .. I relate to this like it’s my own story. BUT I am soooo incredibly proud of you and so incredibly privileged to call you friend. Can’t wait to see the places this journey takes you. Love you girl xoxoxox

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