I’ve had enough…

No one tells you when you become a parent there will be days when you literally come to the end of yourself. I am there tonight. Not just at the end of myself, but beyond …

In the past 42 hours, I’ve had about 4 hours of sleep because my four year old has a gastric infection that has his stomach twisting up with cramp about every 30 minutes. It was bad last night, and he cried through the night while I rocked him  and rubbed his back and warmed a heat pack over and again when its gentle heat kept the cramping to a minimum. He slept on and off all day (something he hasn’t done in years) always touching me, needing my constant reassurance each time the wave of cramping began to swell towards him.

The doctor says there is nothing we can do- he is too young for anti-spasmodic meds. The parent help line says I’m doing everything I can.

but when my little boy shake his fists in the air and asks me, the desperation etched in his face and voice; “Mommy, when is the pain going to stop?”

Then my best is not enough. And neither of us can take any  more. So I sit and cry with him until he rides the tail end of each cramping wave into a few minutes of sleep. I’ve given up on sleeping myself. I’ve had enough. Where is the stop button. I can’t do this any more….and yet I do…because he’s mine…and he needs me to. It’s hurting me beyond words…but he’s still the one in pain.

Never let me go…GM, little boys with boobs and Kazuo Ishiguro

I know why I don’t like to eat genetically modified food: I don’t know what it’s going to do to me…or to my family.

In a rapidly expanding world where populations increase exponentially and natural resources are depleted in response to this rapid growth, it’s hard to argue with innovations that could lead to the production of viable and sustainable options re the production of food, fuel and drinkable water.

Increasing percentages of these expanding populations are suffering from cancers, dementia and other diseases making it is hard to argue with innovations that could lead to treatment options whether it be stem cells or organ transplants. Who would have thought we’d welcome (with ooh’s and aah’s no less) an ear grown on the back of a mouse! We did.

A few years ago I read a book called Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. I don’t know that I can recommend it entirely because I found it both confronting and uncomfortable . Over time I have come to realise it was almost prophetic in its foresight. Online executions, the explosion of internet porn and voyeuristic sex online and the outbreak of new viruses, to name but a few, appeared alongside creatures bred and modified, cloned and mutated for convenience or practicality.

Not all of these things exist only in the world of fiction. We see terrorist executions online, internet porn and leaked sex tapes are an everyday viewing option in thousands of homes and little boys are growing boobs because they are being fed meat that is so high in oestrogen.

How does all this fit in with Kazuo Ishiguro? He wrote a book called “Never Let Me Go.” It deals, in a very human way, with the other side of a very topical debate.: How do we provide for the desperate need for healthy transplant organs for those fighting for their lives.

This book (and the movie of the same name) looks into the moral issues surrounding the issue of cloning and raises questions as to the very nature of the ethics by which a society chooses what it perceives to be the best course of action. Unfortunately, I can’t really tell you too much without ruining the story, so you will have to watch it yourself…then let’s have a really good chat about it, shall we?

If you thought the Nazi take on eugenics was wrong, if you can’t imagine why cloning is an issue, if you found the movie The Island terrifying or fascinating, you’ll find this book/movie food for thought. (warning, it is not GMO free and may contain traces of nuts.)